Over the years I have been broken up with in many ways… many cowardly ways. I’ve been stood up at a bar (after 3 months of dating!), I’ve gotten a text (while I was already in the airport in Arizona waiting for him), over the phone and I even have gotten an email (or two)… but this one is by far my favorite. If you are going to break up with me, and don’t have the balls to at least call me, let alone tell me in person, please don’t do it by email. But if you have to, then I guess doing it in verse will at least keep me laughing for years to come. This is from an email from Mr. Wyoming that I received a couple of years ago. and believe it or not it really is word for word what he wrote. You can thank an old friend for still keeping what I had lost over the years… I now give you Mr. Wyoming (AKA Tumid):
I just finished rehearsal and got your message, but I figured if you have preached enough animosity, on the subject of my regard in your postulation, to your friends that they harbor an opinion such that I am unwelcome in their presence, I deem it unfit to enter the den with one who slanders my character then holds trysts and courts my audience behind the backs of those who would judge. Those who are unfit for your friends are unfit for you.
I just finished rehearsal and got your message, but I figured if you have preached enough animosity, on the subject of my regard in your postulation, to your friends that they harbor an opinion such that I am unwelcome in their presence, I deem it unfit to enter the den with one who slanders my character then holds trysts and courts my audience behind the backs of those who would judge. Those who are unfit for your friends are unfit for you.
Tumid
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