A Public Apology

Dear Everyone,

I got a comment yesterday on my other blog (www.hollywoodcocktailsanddreams.com) asking why I had stopped blogging. I use to have a Happy Hour of the Week trying out new bars and then suddenly I lost my spark for it. Over the last couple of months I’ve tried to pick it back up and I just haven’t been able to. And I really don’t know why not. It just seems like in the last couple of months I’ve just lost hope. And for some reason drinking half prices margaritas on the beach and writing about it was somehow painful. Yea I know I’m a little crazy, but that’s why you all love me. And I just couldn’t seem to get out of this funk. And the more I couldn’t get out of this funk the less I was able to write about drinking and good times. And then I started to go back and forth to San Diego all the time and it seemed that that was all I could think about. And yes we all go into our head sometimes and leave reality… well lets just say Hardt checked out for a bit. And it’s not something I’m proud off… and it’s taken me these last couple of weeks to look back on all that’s happened the last couple of months (personal, professionally, romantically) and really just get that swift kick in the head that I needed. I’ve become not only a person I don’t recognize but one that I really don’t like that much. So I am using this as my public apology to my friends and my readers. For my readers- I’m sorry you’ve had to read about me drone on and on about my life- usually the same thing day in and day out (No Job, No Money, Why doesn’t he want to be with me, Is my stomach getting bigger, bla bla bla bla)…I know I’ve lost my spark but it’s slowly coming back and I think you will be happy for the changes to come! And for my Friends- I can’t apologize enough for all those nights you’ve had to listen to me drone on and on, all those episodes of crying (I think breaking into tears in the middle of kickboxing really was the low point!), rehashing the same problems over and over and fixating on the wrong ones. I know I’ve been impossible to be with and have taken you guys for granted one too many times. But you guys have been there with liquor, food, theatre tickets, spa days, work out sessions, nights on the town flirting, places to crash, sex, hugs, you name it and you’ve come through the last couple of months. And all I have left to say is this- I’M BACK. I’m still numb to a lot of things in my life and I’m sure I will have a set back (or two) but I’m ready to make some serious changes. Now sadly those changes may be in Phoenix (I sure hope not but more details to come) but I think I’m ready for them. Hopefully in the weeks to come I can remind you why you fell in love with me in the first place. Feel free to join me on the beach for margaritas or even just enjoy reading about it… because it’s not just happy hour of the week it’s going to be happy Hardt, all the time!

You loving,
Hardt

PS And for those haters out there who don’t really love Hardt… all I can say is this- you don’t have to read the blogs. If you don’t like what I have to say- don’t read them. If you really don’t like who I am- Don’t read them. And if the only reason you read them is to see your own name in print- please don’t read them. I pour my heart and soul out on these pages, and they may seem petty, or trivial, or pathetic to some. The maybe be something you laugh over and forward to your buddies... But hey it’s my heart… please don’t trample on it anymore. But on the other hand if you do love Hardt and do care about my trivial, petty, and pathetic day to day life- Read. Enjoy. Love.