You're my person...

Cristina: The clinic has a policy. They wouldn't let me confirm my appointment unless I designated an emergency contact...person. Someone to be there just in case, and to...help me home...after... Anyway, I put your name down. That's why I told you I'm pregnant. You're my person.
Meredith: I am?
Cristina: Yea, you are. Whatever.
Meredith: Whatever.
Cristina: He dumped me.
[Meredith puts her arm around Cristina]
Cristina: You realize this constitutes hugging?
Meredith: Shut up...I'm your person.
Greys Anatomy

Today I was reminded once again that I do not have an in case of emergency person… sure I have friends that will bail me out of any trouble, even post money to get me out if necessary. But what I don’t have is that Person. That person that wants to be there for me no matter what, and today I needed that no matter what. While getting off the freeway my brakes went out on me on the off ramp. I can’t say that my life flashed in front of my eyes, but as I was spinning out of control off the ramp the only thought in my mind was please don’t let me die. In shock I rolled into the gas station on the corner and pulled my parking break to get the car to finally stop. And then I had a moment of what next. Luckily there was a guardian angel sitting on my shoulder today, because except for a scare so bad I was shaking and close to tears I was fine. I was able to stop my car just short of going into a wall and except for some engine problems, that’s currently getting fixed at the shop, there were no other problems with my car.

But there I found myself at the gas station waiting for the tow truck to come and get my car with no person that wanted to come and get me. Now don’t get me wrong the first friend that I did call was able to come and get me, no questions asked no worries. But I know that it wasn’t what she had planned on doing on her Sunday… and I have to say it’s a little sad that at 29 the first person I called when I finally stopped my car was my father. Because really he is my in case of emergency. There is no one else to call. No boyfriend waiting at home to make sure I was ok. No husband to come and pick me up and tell me don’t worry we will figure out how to pay for this. No finance to drive me to the shop and wait while they looked at the car and to try and translate what the mechanic was saying to me… instead it was just me. Just me freaking out how I’m going to get it fixed. Just me trying to explain to my father what the mechanic was trying to tell me. And just an empty apartment to go home to. And maybe I’m just being overly dramatic. Maybe I just had a really big scare. And maybe I’m just being a big baby… but sometimes the loneliest thing is to come home alone when all you want is someone to hold you and tell you everything is going to be ok…