Postcards from the edge.

Ok I guess its confession time. I was hoping to delay it. Partly because I know I will get flack from my girls for it and partly because he still reads my blogs, but here goes- I spent part of the week in San Diego with (gasp!) Mr. Green. Now it’s not what you are probably thinking. It wasn’t a last ditch effort to try and convince him to make us work. In fact over the last few weeks I realized that’s never going to happen. I’ve also realized that as much as I would like that, it’s probably not what I need in my life right now. I’ve finally gotten my life back on track and am thoroughly enjoying having my mojo back… including enjoyed having cute men send over bottles of champagne during nights out with my girls this week. But that’s an entirely different story, lets get back to the one with Mr. G and my road trip down south… For the first time since probably our first date I was able to just spend time with him and enjoy that time. There weren’t any worries of when will I see him again, or where is this going or the dreaded why don’t you want to be in a relationship talk. Instead there was just some food, some laughs and some great sex… yes I said it, we did have sex, sex in the living room, sex in the bedroom, sex on the kitchen table... I mean come on, you know I wasn’t going down there for DINNER! The only negative thing that came out of my trip was I realized just how much time this summer I wasted trying to figure out what was going on between us instead of just enjoying what we had. I spent way too much time pushing him away. Too much time trying to make him into the “boyfriend” and not enough time just enjoying who he was. And it seems that now that I can take out the expectations, what I am left with is someone who I enjoy spending time with, someone who I am able to have political discussions with, someone who enjoys eating as much as I do (yea I know that’s odd, but such a plus), someone who really doesn’t mind the extra weight on my middle but instead finds my insanely sexy just as I am, and most importantly someone whom I’m very sexually compatible with. Not to mention he did look very sexy leaving for work in a suit on Friday morning...

And it was nice to know that he missed me, and yes for once it was him telling me how much I was missed! And it was nice that for once he wanted me to stay longer instead of thinking of me as someone he had to entertain and a chore. In fact within 20 minutes of me being there he was trying to get me to call in sick the next day so we could spend more time together. And it was nice for once to get an invite down to San Diego, he has since suggested we make this more of a weekly arrangement. Something I could definitely get use to… but for now I’m just happy the way things are going in my life. And maybe there will be a new romance, I have drinks with Mr. USC next week, maybe there will be an old romance rekindled… but for now it’s nice to know that at this moment I really am just happy.

And on leaving Mr. G’s place Friday morning I went to get a glass of water from the fridge and had to smile at what was on it, the post card I had sent from Jamaica. Because as much as he had tried in these last few weeks to make me think he was happy to have me out of his life, I certainly wasn’t forgotten… and that also is nice to know.