Two conversations last night really affected me. Weirdly in different ways, neither were serious discussions and the reasons they affected me had nothing to do with what we were actually talking about. The first was with Mr. Ex and the second was with Mr. Green.
Now the first one was dealing with sex last night and dinner tonight. Since getting back from being out of the country Mr. Ex has been once again hanging around. I’ve avoided having any discussion about us, because really there isn’t any us anymore. That being said, we both are single and it’s hard to resist having companionship of sorts. So I don’t mind having someone who wants to see me at the end of a long day and it’s nice to have someone who wants to take me out to dinner… so last night he called to invite me over for drinks which forced me to have the conversation I’ve been avoiding. I finally laid it all on the line and told him that although I have been enjoying having him back in my life I’m just not ready to start up again, mainly because I’m still hung up on someone else. But Mr. Ex is very pragmatic about things, his response was well is this guy as hung up on you… And after I honestly admitted that no Mr. Green wasn’t, Mr. Ex simply stated well he was and that he thinks he’s ok with that, as long as he can be with me… but the question is am I? Am I ok being with him knowing that I really want to be with someone else, even if that’s not possible? And the better question is why can’t I just let go of something that really never was in the first place? Here I have a great guy that wants to be with me, at least for now. So why can’t I just let that happen? For now I’ve agreed to dinner… and maybe further down the line something will happen with us again, but for the moment it feels pretty good to just have a good friend to spend my Friday night with.
Now the first one was dealing with sex last night and dinner tonight. Since getting back from being out of the country Mr. Ex has been once again hanging around. I’ve avoided having any discussion about us, because really there isn’t any us anymore. That being said, we both are single and it’s hard to resist having companionship of sorts. So I don’t mind having someone who wants to see me at the end of a long day and it’s nice to have someone who wants to take me out to dinner… so last night he called to invite me over for drinks which forced me to have the conversation I’ve been avoiding. I finally laid it all on the line and told him that although I have been enjoying having him back in my life I’m just not ready to start up again, mainly because I’m still hung up on someone else. But Mr. Ex is very pragmatic about things, his response was well is this guy as hung up on you… And after I honestly admitted that no Mr. Green wasn’t, Mr. Ex simply stated well he was and that he thinks he’s ok with that, as long as he can be with me… but the question is am I? Am I ok being with him knowing that I really want to be with someone else, even if that’s not possible? And the better question is why can’t I just let go of something that really never was in the first place? Here I have a great guy that wants to be with me, at least for now. So why can’t I just let that happen? For now I’ve agreed to dinner… and maybe further down the line something will happen with us again, but for the moment it feels pretty good to just have a good friend to spend my Friday night with.
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