On my quest for the perfect job I’ve sent out resumes everywhere in the last couple of weeks… I’ve also had a little fun with applying for things- yea I’m a big dork. So as a joke I sent in photos and responses to a couple of reality shows. Now we all know that they aren’t “real” but they still are funny, and I never thought I’d get any kind of response…. Though personally I really want to be on the How to look better naked show! But I digress, so Monday afternoon I got a call from one of the ones I had sent in applications for- A REALITY DATING SHOW. Now I can’t divulge which one, since I signed my life away with confidentiality, but let’s just say if I get a “match” I will join the rotation of girls… oh too funny all in itself but the highlight of the experience was not the “interview” itself but the questionnaire… I thought I’d share with you the highlights from my application- with my responses but also with the responses that I really wanted to write!
Longest Relationship?
Actual Response: On and off for 4 years
What I wanted to say: Well really I’ve only done on and off relationships that have lasted a couple of months (usually 4 at the most) but then they drag on (i.e. we sleep together again, start dating for another 4 months to only realize why we broke up in the first place, break up once again and then repeat a month or two down the line)
Have you ever posted or had someone else post nude or semi-nude pictures on the internet?
Actual Response: An ex posted a picture of me on craigslist but it was taken off promptly.
What I wanted to say: Actually it was many pictures and my phone number so if I’m on the show people may come out and say I was a hooker, although I so am not!
What is your type?
Actual Response: Athletic, Fit, Adventuresome, usually falls in the “bad boy” category
What I wanted to say: Great body, Hot, Unable to commit, Asshole, Poor, Some sort of Stunt Man/Pro Surfer, Player, Always bad for me…
Most people I’ve dated say I’m too?
Actual Response: Loud
What I wanted to say: Sex Crazed (though sarcastic and argumentative come a close second!)
One thing I’ve learned from my parents relationship?
Actual Response: That soul mates do exist
What I wanted to say: that and my dad’s golden rule on keeping a marriage going- Lots of good sex.
Have you ever done anything in your past that would cause the producers embarrassment?
Actual Response: No
What I wanted to say: Nothing that hasn’t happened to any reality show participant in the past…and although my past is very tame considering most reality TV stars I’d have to be pretty damn boring if I had nothing in my past that would cause a reaction of sorts!
Have you or anyone else created a website about you?
Actual Response: I have a blog about dating
What I wanted to say: Well of course I have myspace, facebook, friendster, not to mention I have a blog all about my sex life and then one solely about my drinking habits! But don’t worry I’m neither an alcoholic nor a nympho!
Reason your last relationship ended?
Actual Response: I found out he was cheating on me so I ended it.
What I wanted to say: Found out that my Bartender boyfriend was really a stripper who got himself arrested in Illinois while we were dating and then after my father helped arrange for him to leave the state and my mother bought his ticket I then found out he went straight from the plane to his ex’s house- who turns out wasn’t his ex but basically the girl he screwed on the side the entire time we were dating and financially supported him. Oh and yea there were those pictures he posted of me on the internet and the threatening of my life!
Are you single?
Actual Response: Yes
What I wanted to say: Well yes I am but I’m praying that by the time you actually call me to be on the show that I won’t be (*Wink wink- Nudge Nudge*) and therefore will not have to humiliate myself on TV by announcing to everyone I have ever met, including my very old grandparents, that I obviously cannot find a man on my own and now have resorted to a dating show in order to find my soul mate!
So stay tuned… and maybe one day soon you will get to see me dating right in your living room! Though cross your fings that is hasn't come to this!
Longest Relationship?
Actual Response: On and off for 4 years
What I wanted to say: Well really I’ve only done on and off relationships that have lasted a couple of months (usually 4 at the most) but then they drag on (i.e. we sleep together again, start dating for another 4 months to only realize why we broke up in the first place, break up once again and then repeat a month or two down the line)
Have you ever posted or had someone else post nude or semi-nude pictures on the internet?
Actual Response: An ex posted a picture of me on craigslist but it was taken off promptly.
What I wanted to say: Actually it was many pictures and my phone number so if I’m on the show people may come out and say I was a hooker, although I so am not!
What is your type?
Actual Response: Athletic, Fit, Adventuresome, usually falls in the “bad boy” category
What I wanted to say: Great body, Hot, Unable to commit, Asshole, Poor, Some sort of Stunt Man/Pro Surfer, Player, Always bad for me…
Most people I’ve dated say I’m too?
Actual Response: Loud
What I wanted to say: Sex Crazed (though sarcastic and argumentative come a close second!)
One thing I’ve learned from my parents relationship?
Actual Response: That soul mates do exist
What I wanted to say: that and my dad’s golden rule on keeping a marriage going- Lots of good sex.
Have you ever done anything in your past that would cause the producers embarrassment?
Actual Response: No
What I wanted to say: Nothing that hasn’t happened to any reality show participant in the past…and although my past is very tame considering most reality TV stars I’d have to be pretty damn boring if I had nothing in my past that would cause a reaction of sorts!
Have you or anyone else created a website about you?
Actual Response: I have a blog about dating
What I wanted to say: Well of course I have myspace, facebook, friendster, not to mention I have a blog all about my sex life and then one solely about my drinking habits! But don’t worry I’m neither an alcoholic nor a nympho!
Reason your last relationship ended?
Actual Response: I found out he was cheating on me so I ended it.
What I wanted to say: Found out that my Bartender boyfriend was really a stripper who got himself arrested in Illinois while we were dating and then after my father helped arrange for him to leave the state and my mother bought his ticket I then found out he went straight from the plane to his ex’s house- who turns out wasn’t his ex but basically the girl he screwed on the side the entire time we were dating and financially supported him. Oh and yea there were those pictures he posted of me on the internet and the threatening of my life!
Are you single?
Actual Response: Yes
What I wanted to say: Well yes I am but I’m praying that by the time you actually call me to be on the show that I won’t be (*Wink wink- Nudge Nudge*) and therefore will not have to humiliate myself on TV by announcing to everyone I have ever met, including my very old grandparents, that I obviously cannot find a man on my own and now have resorted to a dating show in order to find my soul mate!
So stay tuned… and maybe one day soon you will get to see me dating right in your living room! Though cross your fings that is hasn't come to this!
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