Over the weekend I got to thinking about peoples types… It’s funny how people always gravitate to a certain type of guy or girl. For some people it might be the brainy type, or skinny, or fat, stupid blondes, jocks, geeks, surfers, video game fanatics, treckies…. Whatever your type is there are at least 10 people out there who fit what you are looking for. And for some reason we just keep dating that same type without really branching out and trying something new. And although the grass is always greener… what if there really isn’t something better out there! And so we keep on dating and dating, with the hopes of finding our needle in the haystack all the while sticking with that same straw!
Last night I was describing to someone my usual “dating” type. And it got me to wondering, do I only go for those guys because I’m use to dating them… or do they gravitate towards me because they know I’m there type also. Because really I’ve just dated the same person over and over again. So the question is how do I blend who I should be dating with who I want to date? Because obviously who I usually am dating really isn’t working for me! And really what am I looking for in a guy?
- Responsible Adult (yea I know that would seem like a given… but given my recent boyfriends it’s not! Ideally in his late 20’s/ early 30’s… I’m done dating the guys trying to figure out their life.
- Tall, Thin and Muscular… I was recently told that I need to give up on my ideal looks in a guy, and specifically that those bodies fade. But hey if I’m putting down what my ideal is than that’s it! But I’ve also learned lately that perfection is boring! I’m not looking for perfect…. Just perfect to me!
- College Educated. Sorry boys that’s a requirement. I like having lively debates, I like discussing politics and I love someone who can put me in my place. At the same time I also think we learned more than just what our professors were teaching us in college. College is where you start to form the real friendships that last through our life… That safe environment shapes who we later become in life. Without I think a lot of people are searching for answers… and although I think that’s fantastic, I don’t want to date that person anymore!
- Adventurous… He’s gotta love surfing and hiking with me. If the guy doesn’t like water and sand than he doesn’t have a chance! Plus I think only a guy who is willing to jump off a bridge, go white water rafting, running with the bulls or scuba diving with the stingrays on the spur of the moment would keep me interested for 50 years. Because that’s what I’m looking for- 50 years, not 50 days!
- Career Driven. Nothing is sexier than a guy who is ambitious. I also need someone who understands when I can’t make it home for dinner because we are shooting late, or when I need to work weekends to get caught up.
- Family Oriented. It’s taken me a long time to admit this, but I’m ready to settle down with a family. Not today, not tomorrow… but at the same time not too far into the future. So if you don’t want children or need to wait another 10 years, keep moving because we won’t work out. At the same time he needs to be involved with his own family. I know it’s horrible to say, but I can’t date someone else who has family issues- wither it be with a father, mother, sister, brother, cousin… whoever! I’m not your therapist and I’m not your quick fix!
- Core group of friends. I know this seems like an odd one. But it’s a deal breaker for me now. A guy without his guys has issues… or even a guy with a lot of new friends. There is a reason that he can’t keep his ties for long, and most likely won’t be able to get a girlfriend for long either… my friends are my life force and I also need someone to understand that! And accept that I have my Tuesday night dinners, and sometimes he just won’t be invited to them.
- Must be outgoing and social… I love going out. A great party on a Saturday night is one of the great things in life. Going out, dressing up, having fun… that’s part of my life… and with my career choice will always be part of my life. At the same time, I don’t want him to be too social! I don’t need him looking for “friends” in chat rooms, getting arrested halfway across the US or partying until the sun comes up. At the same time must also enjoy a Friday night in watching movies or a Sunday morning in bed drinking Mimosas.
- But I guess the most important thing is he must love me. Not love who he thinks I am or who he thinks I will be. But loves me. Me at my worst. The grumpy, demanding, whiny, solitary, spastic, loud, overbearing, crazy, dorky me. The me who spends way too much time on my computer. Too many hours dissecting my belly. Gets depressed when the scale goes up… and giddy when it goes down. Loves my family and my friends… and how disgustingly close I am to both of them. Accepts that I too am not perfect… but that we are perfectly imperfect for each other.
Last night I was describing to someone my usual “dating” type. And it got me to wondering, do I only go for those guys because I’m use to dating them… or do they gravitate towards me because they know I’m there type also. Because really I’ve just dated the same person over and over again. So the question is how do I blend who I should be dating with who I want to date? Because obviously who I usually am dating really isn’t working for me! And really what am I looking for in a guy?
- Responsible Adult (yea I know that would seem like a given… but given my recent boyfriends it’s not! Ideally in his late 20’s/ early 30’s… I’m done dating the guys trying to figure out their life.
- Tall, Thin and Muscular… I was recently told that I need to give up on my ideal looks in a guy, and specifically that those bodies fade. But hey if I’m putting down what my ideal is than that’s it! But I’ve also learned lately that perfection is boring! I’m not looking for perfect…. Just perfect to me!
- College Educated. Sorry boys that’s a requirement. I like having lively debates, I like discussing politics and I love someone who can put me in my place. At the same time I also think we learned more than just what our professors were teaching us in college. College is where you start to form the real friendships that last through our life… That safe environment shapes who we later become in life. Without I think a lot of people are searching for answers… and although I think that’s fantastic, I don’t want to date that person anymore!
- Adventurous… He’s gotta love surfing and hiking with me. If the guy doesn’t like water and sand than he doesn’t have a chance! Plus I think only a guy who is willing to jump off a bridge, go white water rafting, running with the bulls or scuba diving with the stingrays on the spur of the moment would keep me interested for 50 years. Because that’s what I’m looking for- 50 years, not 50 days!
- Career Driven. Nothing is sexier than a guy who is ambitious. I also need someone who understands when I can’t make it home for dinner because we are shooting late, or when I need to work weekends to get caught up.
- Family Oriented. It’s taken me a long time to admit this, but I’m ready to settle down with a family. Not today, not tomorrow… but at the same time not too far into the future. So if you don’t want children or need to wait another 10 years, keep moving because we won’t work out. At the same time he needs to be involved with his own family. I know it’s horrible to say, but I can’t date someone else who has family issues- wither it be with a father, mother, sister, brother, cousin… whoever! I’m not your therapist and I’m not your quick fix!
- Core group of friends. I know this seems like an odd one. But it’s a deal breaker for me now. A guy without his guys has issues… or even a guy with a lot of new friends. There is a reason that he can’t keep his ties for long, and most likely won’t be able to get a girlfriend for long either… my friends are my life force and I also need someone to understand that! And accept that I have my Tuesday night dinners, and sometimes he just won’t be invited to them.
- Must be outgoing and social… I love going out. A great party on a Saturday night is one of the great things in life. Going out, dressing up, having fun… that’s part of my life… and with my career choice will always be part of my life. At the same time, I don’t want him to be too social! I don’t need him looking for “friends” in chat rooms, getting arrested halfway across the US or partying until the sun comes up. At the same time must also enjoy a Friday night in watching movies or a Sunday morning in bed drinking Mimosas.
- But I guess the most important thing is he must love me. Not love who he thinks I am or who he thinks I will be. But loves me. Me at my worst. The grumpy, demanding, whiny, solitary, spastic, loud, overbearing, crazy, dorky me. The me who spends way too much time on my computer. Too many hours dissecting my belly. Gets depressed when the scale goes up… and giddy when it goes down. Loves my family and my friends… and how disgustingly close I am to both of them. Accepts that I too am not perfect… but that we are perfectly imperfect for each other.
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