Since it was such a hit telling Mr. Masturbators story and having everyone laugh at someone else’s expense for once, I thought I would tell the story of Mr. Penis. One that even makes the losers I date seem semi-normal. Now I have to stress, this is a story that was told to me, so don’t try and guess which one of my friends is the guy. I don't actually don’t know the person, but after hearing the story I kind of wish I did… but it was just too good not to tell, especially in light of all my naked pictures that ended up on the internet.
Let me take you down to San Diego where there is a poor girl whom we shall have to name Miss Penis. And she unfortunately did nothing to earn her name except agree to meet with a friend’s personal trainer on what was assumed to be a blind date. Except she kind of thought it was just a blind “meet” and he thought it was definitely a “date”. But the point is they agreed to go rock climbing. Which seemed to be going fine except that she wasn’t interested in being more than friends but unfortunately he was. Now we already can tell that he’s a little slow- seeing as he’s a personal trainer. But his clue that she really wasn’t interested should have been that at the end of the date he didn’t even get a kiss goodnight. But poor Mr. Penis must have spent the following week dreaming of their second date… now most likely Miss Penis went on with her business as normal that week and probably didn’t even give him much of a second thought until she received a text message while she was out having drinks. Now you are probably thinking, oh you can’t blame the guy for sending her a text message… and I wouldn’t except for the fact that the text message also included a picture of his PENIS! I kid you not. And she did what only self respecting female out there would do- forward that sucker on to all of her friends!
So moral of the story to all the guys out there- unless you want to be an internet joke please refrain from sending pictures of your naked body parts to someone you’ve only gone on one date with! Even if you are huge and have the most perfect penis in the world, I can guarantee you that she doesn’t want to see it… unless she’s having a bad day and needs to pull something out to make her laugh.
Let me take you down to San Diego where there is a poor girl whom we shall have to name Miss Penis. And she unfortunately did nothing to earn her name except agree to meet with a friend’s personal trainer on what was assumed to be a blind date. Except she kind of thought it was just a blind “meet” and he thought it was definitely a “date”. But the point is they agreed to go rock climbing. Which seemed to be going fine except that she wasn’t interested in being more than friends but unfortunately he was. Now we already can tell that he’s a little slow- seeing as he’s a personal trainer. But his clue that she really wasn’t interested should have been that at the end of the date he didn’t even get a kiss goodnight. But poor Mr. Penis must have spent the following week dreaming of their second date… now most likely Miss Penis went on with her business as normal that week and probably didn’t even give him much of a second thought until she received a text message while she was out having drinks. Now you are probably thinking, oh you can’t blame the guy for sending her a text message… and I wouldn’t except for the fact that the text message also included a picture of his PENIS! I kid you not. And she did what only self respecting female out there would do- forward that sucker on to all of her friends!
So moral of the story to all the guys out there- unless you want to be an internet joke please refrain from sending pictures of your naked body parts to someone you’ve only gone on one date with! Even if you are huge and have the most perfect penis in the world, I can guarantee you that she doesn’t want to see it… unless she’s having a bad day and needs to pull something out to make her laugh.
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