So I’ve started to notice something lately, and it’s the same with me, my friends, friends of friends, pretty much every female out there I have come into contact with. When we go through a break up (or a break off as my last non-relationship can be called), we are emotional, sad, enjoy some booze, some food- whatever it takes. But we mourn the relationship and then spend time going on lousy dates and start to lose hope that we are ever going to find someone. Now the men in my life (and my friend’s lives) have all broken up with us and have moved directly on with someone else (more often than not they moved on with them BEFORE we ended but that’s an entirely different blog). It’s quite shocking. That these men, who we all can see really aren’t that great of catches, who were lucky to have any of us, were able to move on to someone else right away. There isn’t a mourning period, there isn’t a “lets be single for awhile” just an I met someone else, let’s be “friends”… it’s rather infuriating. Because here I am going on date after date with guys who are definitely not my soul mates (it’s actually quite shocking the amounts of dates I go on, only about a third go into the blogs. Mainly because they bored me to death on them, why bore you too! I’ve even had 3 very unexciting dates since Mr. Uni informed me that I wasn’t who he wanted to be with) But the truth of the matter is that when I find someone that I actually have a spark with I’m excited. I want to do whatever it takes to make it work. And more often than not the guy just wants to get laid, have someone to tell his problems to, a football buddy for the Chargers games- whatever it is. And then he gets laid, his problems go away and the season ends. And all that I am left with is a beer belly from Football Sundays, a high phone bill and a high sex drive that now will not get as much exercise. And while these guys are off courting their new girls, those of us leftover are all still clinging to the hope that maybe he will change his mind. I mean of course I’m fabulous, so maybe if I show him just how fabulous I am then he will want to date me. Maybe my homemade chicken soup will change his mind as well as make him better, I don’t see her bringing him that. Or some cookies after he’s had a hard day. Or someone to call and asked how his production meeting went, I mean I’m still involved in his life that has to be good right? Sure these guys will answer our calls (sometimes), will text message back (when it becomes convenient to them) so they must still be interested, right? And sure we all know we’ve gone on face book and checked out their status updates and new female friends (just like to state that EVERY SINGLE GIRLFRIEND of mine has gone on this month and done some ex stalking, just stating it’s just not me in that crazy place!)… .And sure we all get comments from these boys about our facebook updates, and male friends, and pictures. Oh he said I looked gorgeous for New Years Eve, that means he wants to get back together, right?! The answer to all these questions is- NO NO NO. No they don’t want to be together. No they don’t want to be friends. What they want is for us to still be that puppy dog following them around being lovely and amazing to them, while they go off and have sex and relationships with someone else. And this puppy dog is done following. But the sad matter of this is, they don’t really care. Because as a friend told me last night: Sadly they are trying to tell us something without actually having to say it. The reality is that they just aren’t that into us. And it’s sad. And it’s harsh. But once it’s said and out there and realized then it’s easy to move on. Because why call and care about someone who just doesn’t care about us? Why spend our life chasing after something that doesn’t want to be caught? I for one don’t want to. So instead I’ll just buy a new set of batteries (or maybe call up Mr. Ex because he’s always good for that!). Spend my minutes listening to my girlfriends problems instead of some guys. And spend my football Sundays with my girls, yelling at the screen drinking beer (I’m hearing rumors a keg will be involved this Sunday!) having my buffalo wings and the only boys I will be thinking about will be the ones wearing a bolt on their helmet. Because for both the Chargers and me, this is going to be our year baby. And we won’t let any boys stand in our way!
PS Don't take this as being bitter... in fact if I really had given up hope than why would I still be out there dating trying to find the one. I still believe he's out there. But the fact of the matter is I'm done holding my life as I wait for him to call. Not bitter. Just had some kick ass your fabulousness drilled into my brain by some amazing friends (and three horrible books that some of those friends bought me as jokes.... the books are horrible but some of the advice is not too bad!).
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