While sitting in a hot tub recently toasting in the New Year with my girls we were discussing what we want out of a man… and in fact one of the girls had said how she had made her list last New Years and now has found someone who fits all the criteria. Well I told them, but I do have a list and I add to it after everyone I date. So here is this list again, this time with some adjustments. Now let us see if I can stick to it this time!
- Must have a REAL job- no stuntman, model, stripper, flair bartender, pro-surfer, jet-skier, actor… But more than anything must be Career Driven. Nothing is sexier than a guy who is ambitious. I also need someone who understands when I can't make it home for dinner because we are shooting late, or when I need to work weekends to get caught up. But on the flipside, I want to be more than just an obligation or something that casually slips their mind, like washing dishes or taking out the trash. I need to be as equally as important as his job, if his job comes first than I will never be able to get what I need out of the relationship! I’m more than willing to be the cheerleader (outfit optional) but I need to know that at the end of the day he appreciates that, if he doesn’t than there’s the door.
- Must not have any piercings. No tongue, No nipple, No lip, and especially NO PENIS!
- Must be at least my age- if not OLDER! Must be a responsible Adult…No more 23 year old boys who are still trying to figure out their life. A job, car, apartment, direction in life... all things that should be a given when finding someone to date!
- Must be looking for an actual relationship. As Zoha says must have his light on- No flings. No rebound. No one-night Stands. No out of town fuck buddies. No casual relations… someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I'm not talking marriage, engagement, or even a serious relationship- just someone who at the end of a long work weeks wants to come home to me, just me. At the same time, I’d like to hope that when someone is dating me that they stop looking for someone else, because for once I’m waiting to be with someone who doesn’t tell me- well I met someone else…
- Must not have any ex's in their life! If she's still in love with you than you can move on from me! At the same time no girlfriends, no fuck buddies, no fiancés, no wives... and this one is non-negotiable. Though he must also have had stable relationships in the past, if they haven't been serious about someone in the past they aren't going to be able to be serious about me.
- Must not have gone to Jail or get arrested while we are dating! I know Janice can't handle having to try and bail another boyfriend out of the drunk tank!
- Must be College Educated. Sorry boys that's a requirement. I like having lively debates, I like discussing politics and I love someone who can put me in my place. At the same time I also think we learned more than just what our professors were teaching us in college. College is where you start to form the real friendships that last through our life… That safe environment shapes who we later become in life. Without that I think a lot of people are searching for answers… and although I think that's fantastic, I don't want to date that person anymore!
- Must be Adventurous… He's gotta love surfing and hiking with me. If the guy doesn't like water and sand than he doesn't have a chance! Plus I think only a guy who is willing to jump off a bridge, go white water rafting, running with the bulls or scuba diving with the stingrays on the spur of the moment would keep me interested for 50 years. Because that's what I'm looking for- 50 years, not 50 days!
- Must be Family Oriented. It's taken me a long time to admit this, but I'm finally getting to the point where I'm ready to think about settling down with a family. Not today, not tomorrow… but at the same time not too far into the future. So if you don't want children or need to wait another 10 years, keep moving because we won't work out. At the same time he needs to be involved with his own family. I know it's horrible to say, but I can't date someone else who has family issues- wither it be with a father, mother, sister, brother, cousin… whoever! I'm not your therapist and I'm not your quick fix!
- Core group of male friends. I know this seems like an odd one. But it's a deal breaker for me now. A guy without his guys has issues… or even a guy with a lot of new friends. And especially a guy that seems to have more girl friends than guys. I want to know that he’s more than just a flirt, but someone who when I want to have my girls nights is more than happy to spend the evening with his guys doing their own things… my friends are my life force and I also need someone to understand that! And accept that I have my Tuesday night dinners, and sometimes he just won't be invited to them.
- Must be outgoing and social… I love going out. A great party on a Saturday night is one of the great things in life. Going out, dressing up, having fun… that's part of my life… and with my career choice will always be part of my life. On the flip side he must also enjoy a Friday night in watching movies or a Sunday morning in bed drinking Mimosas. But at the same time must not like to sit and home and smoke pot all day long... because it the long run you will end up wanting the pot more than you want me. AND NO SMOKERS IN GENERAL.
- Must not live in a different city, state or take a job touring the US for 6 months at a time! But at the same time must not view living in Venice being "long distance" if he only lives in Burbank!
-Must say what he means and means what he says. Every guy in the past seems to say one thing, do another, and then will admit to a third. When a guy says I want to be with you, I want him to mean it. When a guy says I am in love with you, I want him to mean it. But if he starts to waiver or say he’s confused or doesn’t know what he wants then I’m going to have to walk away. Because in the end he will still not know what he wants, and that’s just preventing me from meeting the one who does. Because eventually I will meet the guy who does know what he wants- ME.
- But I guess the most important thing is he must love me. Not love who he thinks I am or the me who he thought I was or who he thinks I will be. But loves me. Me at my worst. The grumpy, demanding, whiny, solitary, spastic, loud, overbearing, crazy, dorky me. The me who spends way too much time on my computer. Too many hours dissecting my belly. Gets depressed when the scale goes up… and giddy when it goes down. Loves my family and my friends… and how disgustingly close I am to both of them. Accepts that I too am not perfect… but that we are perfectly imperfect for each other.
- Must have a REAL job- no stuntman, model, stripper, flair bartender, pro-surfer, jet-skier, actor… But more than anything must be Career Driven. Nothing is sexier than a guy who is ambitious. I also need someone who understands when I can't make it home for dinner because we are shooting late, or when I need to work weekends to get caught up. But on the flipside, I want to be more than just an obligation or something that casually slips their mind, like washing dishes or taking out the trash. I need to be as equally as important as his job, if his job comes first than I will never be able to get what I need out of the relationship! I’m more than willing to be the cheerleader (outfit optional) but I need to know that at the end of the day he appreciates that, if he doesn’t than there’s the door.
- Must not have any piercings. No tongue, No nipple, No lip, and especially NO PENIS!
- Must be at least my age- if not OLDER! Must be a responsible Adult…No more 23 year old boys who are still trying to figure out their life. A job, car, apartment, direction in life... all things that should be a given when finding someone to date!
- Must be looking for an actual relationship. As Zoha says must have his light on- No flings. No rebound. No one-night Stands. No out of town fuck buddies. No casual relations… someone who wants to be with me as much as I want to be with them. I'm not talking marriage, engagement, or even a serious relationship- just someone who at the end of a long work weeks wants to come home to me, just me. At the same time, I’d like to hope that when someone is dating me that they stop looking for someone else, because for once I’m waiting to be with someone who doesn’t tell me- well I met someone else…
- Must not have any ex's in their life! If she's still in love with you than you can move on from me! At the same time no girlfriends, no fuck buddies, no fiancés, no wives... and this one is non-negotiable. Though he must also have had stable relationships in the past, if they haven't been serious about someone in the past they aren't going to be able to be serious about me.
- Must not have gone to Jail or get arrested while we are dating! I know Janice can't handle having to try and bail another boyfriend out of the drunk tank!
- Must be College Educated. Sorry boys that's a requirement. I like having lively debates, I like discussing politics and I love someone who can put me in my place. At the same time I also think we learned more than just what our professors were teaching us in college. College is where you start to form the real friendships that last through our life… That safe environment shapes who we later become in life. Without that I think a lot of people are searching for answers… and although I think that's fantastic, I don't want to date that person anymore!
- Must be Adventurous… He's gotta love surfing and hiking with me. If the guy doesn't like water and sand than he doesn't have a chance! Plus I think only a guy who is willing to jump off a bridge, go white water rafting, running with the bulls or scuba diving with the stingrays on the spur of the moment would keep me interested for 50 years. Because that's what I'm looking for- 50 years, not 50 days!
- Must be Family Oriented. It's taken me a long time to admit this, but I'm finally getting to the point where I'm ready to think about settling down with a family. Not today, not tomorrow… but at the same time not too far into the future. So if you don't want children or need to wait another 10 years, keep moving because we won't work out. At the same time he needs to be involved with his own family. I know it's horrible to say, but I can't date someone else who has family issues- wither it be with a father, mother, sister, brother, cousin… whoever! I'm not your therapist and I'm not your quick fix!
- Core group of male friends. I know this seems like an odd one. But it's a deal breaker for me now. A guy without his guys has issues… or even a guy with a lot of new friends. And especially a guy that seems to have more girl friends than guys. I want to know that he’s more than just a flirt, but someone who when I want to have my girls nights is more than happy to spend the evening with his guys doing their own things… my friends are my life force and I also need someone to understand that! And accept that I have my Tuesday night dinners, and sometimes he just won't be invited to them.
- Must be outgoing and social… I love going out. A great party on a Saturday night is one of the great things in life. Going out, dressing up, having fun… that's part of my life… and with my career choice will always be part of my life. On the flip side he must also enjoy a Friday night in watching movies or a Sunday morning in bed drinking Mimosas. But at the same time must not like to sit and home and smoke pot all day long... because it the long run you will end up wanting the pot more than you want me. AND NO SMOKERS IN GENERAL.
- Must not live in a different city, state or take a job touring the US for 6 months at a time! But at the same time must not view living in Venice being "long distance" if he only lives in Burbank!
-Must say what he means and means what he says. Every guy in the past seems to say one thing, do another, and then will admit to a third. When a guy says I want to be with you, I want him to mean it. When a guy says I am in love with you, I want him to mean it. But if he starts to waiver or say he’s confused or doesn’t know what he wants then I’m going to have to walk away. Because in the end he will still not know what he wants, and that’s just preventing me from meeting the one who does. Because eventually I will meet the guy who does know what he wants- ME.
- But I guess the most important thing is he must love me. Not love who he thinks I am or the me who he thought I was or who he thinks I will be. But loves me. Me at my worst. The grumpy, demanding, whiny, solitary, spastic, loud, overbearing, crazy, dorky me. The me who spends way too much time on my computer. Too many hours dissecting my belly. Gets depressed when the scale goes up… and giddy when it goes down. Loves my family and my friends… and how disgustingly close I am to both of them. Accepts that I too am not perfect… but that we are perfectly imperfect for each other.
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