"Are you happy?"

My IM conversation today:
Mr. Green: So THAT'S who Mr. Uni is.
Hardt: Yup
Mr. Green: Are you Happy?

Out of the blue after not talking to Mr. Green for a bit I got an im today inquiring- Am I happy? I had to pause a moment when he asked. And when I pointed out that that was a loaded question. He simply stated: “No it’s not. It’s simple. Are you happy?” When asked what he wanted me to say he said: “ I wanted to hear you were happy with Mr. Uni. I’ve read your blogs and it seems like you are. I want to hear you say you were happy.” And I, like always, told him the truth: “Am I happy? Yes. Do I sometimes still miss you? Yes”… because sometimes the truth isn’t a simple yes or no answer. Because yes some days I do still miss him. I miss driving down to San Diego on random Tuesdays. I miss hanging out with him and his brother and his roommates. I miss lying in bed on Sundays doing not much besides watching TV and taking naps. I miss how he use to reach for me all the time, in the car, in the house, walking down the street. He always had to be touching me. There is something reassuring about that. I miss how he use to make me feel… but at the same time if he had called me up today and said I miss you, give me a second chance. I would without hesitation have said no. But that no didn’t make it any easier to hear today when he is “happy” that I am happy with someone else. I don’t know why he felt the need to ask. I didn’t ask him that… mainly because I don’t think he would have told me the reason, if he even really knows it himself. I don't know if I even really want to know the answer. I know he still reads the blogs, I had thought that that would die down. It hasn’t. I even told him that when he leaves for New Zealand for the next 2 weeks he will go through Hardt In The City withdralls, to which he told me: “Hahaha. No I will have internet there”. I’d like to think that he asked today because he doe still care about me. But that’s assuming that he ever really did care. And from where I sat the last couple of months I don’t think that he did. Yes he enjoyed the time we had together. I’m sure he misses the great sex that we had (I mean who wouldn’t miss that!). But actually miss ME. That I am not too certain about. But all of that really doesn’t matter in the end. What matters is that yes, I am happy. And yes I am happy with someone else. But more importantly I am happy with myself. And that is worth more than a world full of Mr.’s.