It really isn’t you it’s me?!

"Gigi: I would rather be like that, then be like you.

Alex: Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?

Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are."

HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

Over the weekend I went to see He’s Just Not That Into You… and yes I will admit I’ve read the books (even the sequel- it’s called a break up because it’s broken). And yes there was a character that I related to more than you can imagine. Jennifer Goodwin plays this serial dater, who gets her heart stomped on left and right, who can’t seem to make anything work, who holds on to any little hope because really what is there without hope and is basically just me. And towards the end she gets into a fight with the Justin Long Character (a womanizer who we watch throw away woman after woman) and as he’s yelling at her and asking her how she couldn’t read the signs. How stupid she must be to think that he wanted to be with her, because after all isn’t he the one who told her that if a guy wanted to be with you than he would ask you out… and she just looked at him, took a breath and told him that she’s just happy that she isn’t him. Because yes she gets her heart broken, and yes none of these people want to be with her and yes she stupidly goes out on hopeless date after date but that she does it because each time she hopes that maybe this will work out. She looks him in the eye and tells him that she’s just happy that she isn’t him. Because even though her love has been thrown in her face at least she’s loved because he has no idea what love is like. And it’s because of that, that she is closer to finding it than he will ever be. And of course I sat there and started sobbing. Because I could be that girl sitting there being yelled at by this boy. In fact I have been that girl yelling at that boy. Because I am the love-aholic. That one who falls in love at the drop of a hat. Who just tries and tries. Who just can’t seem to get this dating thing right. But even as I sat there waiting for the movie to start all the while on the phone being told by yet another guy that He Just Wasn’t That Into Me, I still have hope. I still accepted a set-up from one of my friends. I still got all dolled up over the weekend with the hopes that maybe just maybe I will meet someone right. And yes just like Jennifer Goodwin, I can see the phone isn’t ringing. I hold onto those good dates because I’ve had so many lousy ones. And yes I always fall for that guy that is constantly telling me- I’m just not that into you. And my heart broke watching her on the screen because it was like watching all my failed romances go by me. People often ask me why I go through the same cycle over and over again. How I can let these men treat me like the gum on their shoes and still talk to them, still wish them luck on their big days, call to make sure they made a flight home or come over to cheer them up when they are blue. I do this because I’m always going to have hope. Even if it’s blind hope. Even if it’s being stupid. And even if it just once again leaves me crying in a movie theatre… because I have to believe that all this makes me just that much closer to finding the one… because really if I didn’t believe that, then why even bother.

But really what I didn’t need to be told in this movie was He’s Just Not That Into Me… I don’t know what genius guy really thought that this would go over well with women. Because sure on the surface it seems like a great idea… And all feminist Rah Rah… BUT IT’S NOT. It’s them sitting there and telling us that really there is something wrong with us. It’s not them it’s ME. It’s ME they don’t’ want to be with. It’s ME all these men are rejecting. Not the fact that it’s clear that many of these guys have insane commitment issues, baggage from earlier relationships, prefer to go out and screw as many woman as possible, are unable to fall in love… no it’s not these assholes that we date. It’s us that have things wrong with us… and really did I need to spend 10 dollars for someone to tell me that I’m the problem? I think not. I have enough men and friends in my life to tell me that very same thing…

PS Don’t even get me started on the ending all wrapped up in a happy bow. Because let me tell you how it would end in real life. The guy would go on to screw the next hopeless girl that fell into his path. Jennifer Goodwin would enjoy a pint of ice cream, maybe some booze and probably fall into the lap of one of her ex’s… because sadly life is not always tied up in the Hollywood Happy Ending Bow!