Played or Not Played... that is the question

Now the rest of my weekend went by in a lazy drunken blur… Spent Saturday night with Mr. My Harry. He had recently broken up with his one again off again girlfriend of 6 years so he finally remembered I existed. Now I know that I shouldn’t jump when he calls but of course I did and we went out for drinks last night. It was nice. We caught up, he got to hear all about my topsy turvy love life and I got to hear about him sticking his toe back into the dating world. But the nicest thing was that I was able to sit across from him and not have the feelings that I use to have. I have always thought that maybe one day we would be on the same page and make things work between us, but this time I realized that we actually were on the same page and friendship was what was working between us. And I was happy about. So much that today I met up with him again to watch the Steelers game with his guys.But in between the Cardinals game with my girls and the Steelers game with the boys I spoke to Mr. Uni. He was a little upset that I had gone out with Mr. FB and for the last two days had been asking me questions about it. And for two days they were unanswered, until I was drunk of course! On the way to the bar we finally were able to air both our grievances. Well really it was my grievances and him telling me how amazing I was. After all his bullshit about meeting someone else and was confused, it came down to the fact that he has just plain been scared. Scared of his feelings for me. Scared of where this was going. And scared that he was going nowhere in life. Now as much as it would be nice to believe all of that, because deep down aren’t most guys just afraid of commitment, I had to call bullshit on him. The fact of the matter is he still doesn’t know what he wants. I layed it all on the line, and the only thing he could say was he needed time and could I just wait. Sadly I had to answer no. I did tell him that if he can sort his life out soon than I am here… yea I know I’m a sucker. But I let him know that his window of opportunity is small… And that I would be out dating while he figures stuff out. And I know his “excuses” were just that an excuse. And that if he really wanted to be with me than he would… but at the same time I can’t rule out that maybe he really just is confused and will come around. So until then, I’m off to enjoy all that life has to offer. Mr. FB has been calling every day, and if feels nice to be chased for once. And last night I watched the sunset over the pacific, sitting outside in nothing but a little sundress ,with a margarita in my hands and the boys at my side… nothing short of perfection!

Cold Rainy Saturdays…

Due to Mr. Ex’s shooting schedule I spent a quiet night on the couch watching TV… which is kind of funny, because if I was dating him I would have been the perfect girlfriend last night. Not even upset or annoyed at him for shooting late. In fact I understand oh too well getting stuck on set. Though in this situation I think he might have been the upset or annoyed one. Because he didn’t cancel on me, it was me that canceled on him at the end. He was getting off around 10, so dinner was postponed to Sunday night, but of course he suggested going out for drinks last night around 11pm. To once again I told him that sex was off the table so I would just see him on Sunday for dinner.

So instead of crazy sex in front of my very warm fire (oh yea I lit it last night!) I spent it on the couch watching The Ex List… And oddly enough I found the concept of it amusing. The idea that you’ve already dated and broken up with your future husband. Which OF COURSE got me to thinking about my ex’s, and thinking oh my I sure hope that I don’t have to marry one of them! I mean they’ve given me lots of things to write about but not one would I even want to have sex with, let alone have sex with for the rest of my life! I mean there is Mr. Arizona who managed to get his “girlfriend” pregnant around the same time we were back sleeping together, so I could be a step mom. Or there is Mr. Wyoming, whose mother hated me more than I thought possible and who I would probably be living on a cattle range with before long. Then there was Mr. NakedBartender, I would be married to a part time underwear model part time webcam star. Of course there is Mr. Ex, who I could travel to Brazil with but would always have an empty bed because he’s usually all over the globe and the state working. Mr. My Harry who has a problem with monogamy. Or maybe Mr. High School where I could be settled down in Del Mar with, smoking some pot and surfing every day. At least with Mr. Baby R I would probably be doing the same thing I am doing now- On a couch in Santa Monica watching college football. It’s funny though, many of my ex’s I’ve thought that maybe I would end up. But you know what they say, unanswered prayers and all… looking back I’m very thankful for the fact that the relationships all crumbled at the end. Many I’ve stayed friends with, some I’ve lots touch with, some I'm myspace and facebook friends with and some I bet are reading this very blog… but it’s the future non-ex who has me captivated at the moment… the one who will make all those just fade into distant memories, a story to be told at a dinner party or a warning we give to our future children. It's not the past that I'm looking at this rainy Saturday, it's the future... and I can't wait!