So I’m just a couple days over my first 30 days into my 30’s… when I was little I thought the world would be my oyster at 30. I thought I would meet my husband at 28, be married at 29 and have my first kid (hoping for twins!) at 30 where I would have already made my first million. Instead 30 days into “My Decade” I found myself still unemployed, instead of having a million dollars I found myself in unemployment limbo watching my savings slowly deplete to where I am today- having a whopping 7 dollars to my name, no savings, no nest egg, no credit card limit left, just plain 7 dollars. Instead of those twins and loving husband I have found myself still in love with someone who only see’s me as a buddy, constantly having sex with the wrong men (though that may be the highlight of the month!), have a stable of ex’s who have surprised me this past month and although are not that Mr. Right , what they are are fiercely protective and loyal and have really rallied me these last few weeks. There has been so much yet nothing really new to write about so I haven’t… maybe because I don’t even want to admit to myself what my life really has lead to, but here goes. Here are the 30 high/low-lights of my first 30 days…
1) I finally got to check something else off my list- Sex on a jet ski with Mr. Ex. Have to say it was actually pretty thrilling! There’s a trick to it, so after a few “false starts” we finally figured it out and managed to have sex throughout the lake.
2) After sex on the Jet Ski I found out I was severely allergic to the moss inside Pyramid Lake…found myself stuck in bed for almost 2 days after sneezing every 5 minutes for over 24 hours!
3) Found my cell phone was turned off… after borrowing some from a few friends still found me 65 dollars short… and after a nice crying jab on Mr. FB’s shoulder- something I am doing way too often lately, he paid it off for me. Not something that I wanted, nor something that anyone really knows, but something he did because he too out of work understands the need for a phone. I also think he got annoyed with not being able to get a hold of me for two days.
4) Managed to actually become a real surfer. I’ve been surfing for 6 years now. And leading up to breaking my nose a couple years ago was really getting go at. But was something I’ve backed away from since. When left with not much to do this summer but surf I have tried to surf almost every day… and the result is something that I really am proud of. Finally able to really surf!
5) Really surfing has lead me to find my other talent in life- teaching others to surf. Turns out I have a knack for it. It’s really just from spending the last couple of years backing off the real waves and just watching the waves and the surfers. I’ve managed to learn the waves. Learn how to ride them. Lean the tides… so it’s really easy for me to tell someone what they are doing wrong in order to get them up on the waves… hopefully that talent will start to make money soon!
6) Was able to see my idol surf for the first time since I was little, and not only did I get to see Kelly Slater surf, I got to see him surf the most perfect waves ever- perfect 10 all around scores and during one of the biggest swells in decades.
7) Also got to surf the biggest swell in decades. Was shockingly afraid every moment out there… spent almost two hours with Mr. Piranha scaling those bad boys. In the end you have to just feel every part of the wave. One second of lost concentration and you are off the wave and in dangerous territory with the current and incoming waves. It was exhilarating, sexy, petrifying and amazing at the sometime. Both of us completely attuned to each other just surfed. Both fully aware of what the other was doing. Both always keeping one eye on the other. And both just surfing in sync for one afternoon.
8) Which leads to the update on Mr. Piranha- in the last couple of weeks we have managed to surf more mornings than not. Slowly he has moved everything back into my place that I made him take home. We have a pattern. He has a towel hanging in my bedroom. He’s turned into that amazing guy that I wake up in the morning looking forward to seeing. That I go to sleep at night a little happier when I get those text messages that say “Night Hardt”… And last week knowing the extent of my finances took me for coffee (sounds simply but after not having it for 2 weeks I was in heaven) and filled my gas tank up… slowly in the last couple of weeks I have let him back into my heart… sadly he’s let me into his, but as a friend. I see him more than most his friends or roommates do…yet I will always be seen as just be a buddy. Something that slowly I’m coming to find out is even harder than not seeing him at all.
9) In my attempt to prove to myself that I am over Mr. P I have spent lots of time with Mr. Wyoming… who slowly in the last year has become a different man. We have an amazing time together; he even has let me teach him how to surf. We’ve had some good sex, some good laughs… and at one point he pushed for something more. But that’s something I can’t give him right now. So I’ve backed off a bit. Until my heart is free I’m definitely not going to allow myself to get caught up in something that I know deep down I really don’t want, no matter how nice it would feel to do just give into it…
10) I’ve become analy clean! In fact was sad this weekend when I wanted to clean and everything is so spotless the only thing I could do was to make my bed…until I discovered the extent of my microwave filth!
11) But in making my place clean have also made my apartment finally my own. And I love it. I even fixed up my balcony and have been reading and writing on it every day. Along with a glass of wine of course!
12) I’ve discovered a new obsession- Zac Brown Band. Love them! Run out and buy their latest album on I-Tunes, I promise you it’s worth it! Think Jimmy Buffet meets Kenny Chesney with a bit of Jack Johnson thrown in. Toes is basically my life…and sadly Chicken Fried reminds me so much of Mr. P it almost hurts some days to listen to the song. One that now as soon as we get into my car to surf he searches my cd’s until he finds it-knowing that it’s always somewhere in my car…
13) I went surfing up by Santa Barbara. It was great to try out some new waves- but at the same time it was so freaking cold! And I thought I needed a full wetsuit here lately!
14) While there I was camping with good friends. Had a blast! Just what I needed… a few days out of the city and out of my head. Plus smores! Has me pumped up for another camping trip in a month!
15) Swam with dolphins! I kid you not, I have been swimming or surfing with dolphins most days this month. So much that during shark week I felt something tugging at my leash while out surfing, I leaned over to take it off, thinking it was seaweed and found that there was a little fin attached to the marine creature that was playing with it! Panicked thinking it was a shark! As soon as my heart went back to a normal beat I realized it was a dolphin. It played with my leash and board for a bit before it swam off to surf the waves.
16) Also managed to kayak with seals…
17) Find a live sand dollar…
18) Had a sting ray slide over my foot, rest for a bit and then swim off…
19) Caught a fish with my bare hands at the lake and then released it…
20) Had a school of baby jellyfish swim right thru me…
21) And caught a sand crab!
22) Taught the cutest little 2 year old to ride a boogie board (Pheobe’s first surf lesson!)
23) Went Skinny Dipping with Mr. Ex… and forgot how much I loved it!
24) As for the Mr. Ex’s updates… I know a good chunk of my friends are still convinced that we are going to get married. I’ve been having an amazing time with him these last couple of weeks. But that’s because we both want the same things. Just a nice simply, NSA affair. We jet ski, hang at the lake, drink together, send really filthy texts, have fun sex, good laughs and enjoy each other’s company. We’ve been on and off for 7 years and he’s really one of my closest friends. Someone who I really do tell everything to and who is always there for me no questions asked. Our relationship works perfectly the way it is… and I have no interest in ever changing that.
25) Once again managed to screw my knew up…
26) Cut the back of my heels to bloody stumps by surfing and hiking…
27) Bruised most of my body with my board…
28) And killed yet another ankle.
29) Spent a lot of time crying… tried to think of it as cathartic- not depressing. But in reality had some days where I seriously just couldn’t get out of bed… and more often than not I have managed to drag myself out of bed for an early surf only to crawl back into bed when I get done and nap and sleep off and on for the rest of the day…would think I had mono if I didn’t have it in college. Just some days can’t manage to do anything…
30) But basically just spent the last month trying to find myself, trying to figure out what I want, tried to figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life, tried to find a career, a man (even tried speed dating), had a lot of sex, had a lot of laughs, spent way too many nights up with friends, too many evenings out, way too much time on the beach, tanned myself way too much, took naps in the day (every day!), broke the motor on my vibrator, went through an entire box of condoms, learned to creatively cook using only what’s in my cabinets and just spent the last 30 days trying to get by as best as I could. It hasn’t all been good. In fact it’s been more bad than good. But in the end you have to try and make the most of it. I haven’t spent too much time at home feeling sorry for myself. In the end I’ve gone out and tried to make my place in the world. Just haven’t been a success at it so far…
1) I finally got to check something else off my list- Sex on a jet ski with Mr. Ex. Have to say it was actually pretty thrilling! There’s a trick to it, so after a few “false starts” we finally figured it out and managed to have sex throughout the lake.
2) After sex on the Jet Ski I found out I was severely allergic to the moss inside Pyramid Lake…found myself stuck in bed for almost 2 days after sneezing every 5 minutes for over 24 hours!
3) Found my cell phone was turned off… after borrowing some from a few friends still found me 65 dollars short… and after a nice crying jab on Mr. FB’s shoulder- something I am doing way too often lately, he paid it off for me. Not something that I wanted, nor something that anyone really knows, but something he did because he too out of work understands the need for a phone. I also think he got annoyed with not being able to get a hold of me for two days.
4) Managed to actually become a real surfer. I’ve been surfing for 6 years now. And leading up to breaking my nose a couple years ago was really getting go at. But was something I’ve backed away from since. When left with not much to do this summer but surf I have tried to surf almost every day… and the result is something that I really am proud of. Finally able to really surf!
5) Really surfing has lead me to find my other talent in life- teaching others to surf. Turns out I have a knack for it. It’s really just from spending the last couple of years backing off the real waves and just watching the waves and the surfers. I’ve managed to learn the waves. Learn how to ride them. Lean the tides… so it’s really easy for me to tell someone what they are doing wrong in order to get them up on the waves… hopefully that talent will start to make money soon!
6) Was able to see my idol surf for the first time since I was little, and not only did I get to see Kelly Slater surf, I got to see him surf the most perfect waves ever- perfect 10 all around scores and during one of the biggest swells in decades.
7) Also got to surf the biggest swell in decades. Was shockingly afraid every moment out there… spent almost two hours with Mr. Piranha scaling those bad boys. In the end you have to just feel every part of the wave. One second of lost concentration and you are off the wave and in dangerous territory with the current and incoming waves. It was exhilarating, sexy, petrifying and amazing at the sometime. Both of us completely attuned to each other just surfed. Both fully aware of what the other was doing. Both always keeping one eye on the other. And both just surfing in sync for one afternoon.
8) Which leads to the update on Mr. Piranha- in the last couple of weeks we have managed to surf more mornings than not. Slowly he has moved everything back into my place that I made him take home. We have a pattern. He has a towel hanging in my bedroom. He’s turned into that amazing guy that I wake up in the morning looking forward to seeing. That I go to sleep at night a little happier when I get those text messages that say “Night Hardt”… And last week knowing the extent of my finances took me for coffee (sounds simply but after not having it for 2 weeks I was in heaven) and filled my gas tank up… slowly in the last couple of weeks I have let him back into my heart… sadly he’s let me into his, but as a friend. I see him more than most his friends or roommates do…yet I will always be seen as just be a buddy. Something that slowly I’m coming to find out is even harder than not seeing him at all.
9) In my attempt to prove to myself that I am over Mr. P I have spent lots of time with Mr. Wyoming… who slowly in the last year has become a different man. We have an amazing time together; he even has let me teach him how to surf. We’ve had some good sex, some good laughs… and at one point he pushed for something more. But that’s something I can’t give him right now. So I’ve backed off a bit. Until my heart is free I’m definitely not going to allow myself to get caught up in something that I know deep down I really don’t want, no matter how nice it would feel to do just give into it…
10) I’ve become analy clean! In fact was sad this weekend when I wanted to clean and everything is so spotless the only thing I could do was to make my bed…until I discovered the extent of my microwave filth!
11) But in making my place clean have also made my apartment finally my own. And I love it. I even fixed up my balcony and have been reading and writing on it every day. Along with a glass of wine of course!
12) I’ve discovered a new obsession- Zac Brown Band. Love them! Run out and buy their latest album on I-Tunes, I promise you it’s worth it! Think Jimmy Buffet meets Kenny Chesney with a bit of Jack Johnson thrown in. Toes is basically my life…and sadly Chicken Fried reminds me so much of Mr. P it almost hurts some days to listen to the song. One that now as soon as we get into my car to surf he searches my cd’s until he finds it-knowing that it’s always somewhere in my car…
13) I went surfing up by Santa Barbara. It was great to try out some new waves- but at the same time it was so freaking cold! And I thought I needed a full wetsuit here lately!
14) While there I was camping with good friends. Had a blast! Just what I needed… a few days out of the city and out of my head. Plus smores! Has me pumped up for another camping trip in a month!
15) Swam with dolphins! I kid you not, I have been swimming or surfing with dolphins most days this month. So much that during shark week I felt something tugging at my leash while out surfing, I leaned over to take it off, thinking it was seaweed and found that there was a little fin attached to the marine creature that was playing with it! Panicked thinking it was a shark! As soon as my heart went back to a normal beat I realized it was a dolphin. It played with my leash and board for a bit before it swam off to surf the waves.
16) Also managed to kayak with seals…
17) Find a live sand dollar…
18) Had a sting ray slide over my foot, rest for a bit and then swim off…
19) Caught a fish with my bare hands at the lake and then released it…
20) Had a school of baby jellyfish swim right thru me…
21) And caught a sand crab!
22) Taught the cutest little 2 year old to ride a boogie board (Pheobe’s first surf lesson!)
23) Went Skinny Dipping with Mr. Ex… and forgot how much I loved it!
24) As for the Mr. Ex’s updates… I know a good chunk of my friends are still convinced that we are going to get married. I’ve been having an amazing time with him these last couple of weeks. But that’s because we both want the same things. Just a nice simply, NSA affair. We jet ski, hang at the lake, drink together, send really filthy texts, have fun sex, good laughs and enjoy each other’s company. We’ve been on and off for 7 years and he’s really one of my closest friends. Someone who I really do tell everything to and who is always there for me no questions asked. Our relationship works perfectly the way it is… and I have no interest in ever changing that.
25) Once again managed to screw my knew up…
26) Cut the back of my heels to bloody stumps by surfing and hiking…
27) Bruised most of my body with my board…
28) And killed yet another ankle.
29) Spent a lot of time crying… tried to think of it as cathartic- not depressing. But in reality had some days where I seriously just couldn’t get out of bed… and more often than not I have managed to drag myself out of bed for an early surf only to crawl back into bed when I get done and nap and sleep off and on for the rest of the day…would think I had mono if I didn’t have it in college. Just some days can’t manage to do anything…
30) But basically just spent the last month trying to find myself, trying to figure out what I want, tried to figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life, tried to find a career, a man (even tried speed dating), had a lot of sex, had a lot of laughs, spent way too many nights up with friends, too many evenings out, way too much time on the beach, tanned myself way too much, took naps in the day (every day!), broke the motor on my vibrator, went through an entire box of condoms, learned to creatively cook using only what’s in my cabinets and just spent the last 30 days trying to get by as best as I could. It hasn’t all been good. In fact it’s been more bad than good. But in the end you have to try and make the most of it. I haven’t spent too much time at home feeling sorry for myself. In the end I’ve gone out and tried to make my place in the world. Just haven’t been a success at it so far…
I just have to ask-a jetski?? Did anyone see you??? How is this even possible? Lol!
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