So Tuesday night I had a first date… well at least that’s what it felt like. But in fact I still don’t know exactly what it was or what it meant. Does he want to just be friends? Does he want to go back to dating? So I will let you decide what the final tally was…
After spending the afternoon yelling at the Lakers Game with my boys down at Big Wangs I went over to Mr. Piranha’s place for a movie night with his roommates (Dating 1, Friends 0- wanted me to meet the friends)… and it felt…awkward (Dating 2, Friends 0, felt like first date). We both didn’t know what to do with each other. I was nervous going over because I haven’t seen him since we got back from Havasu a week and a half ago and didn’t know what to expect. And instead of a night with just the two of us feeling things out, we spent them in the constant company of his 2 roommates (Friends 1, Dating 2- he didn’t seem to want to be alone with me!). Mind you I didn’t mind hanging out with his roommates, but on the other hand neither of us knew how to act and they didn’t seem to help things. And seeing as he was impossible to read I just kind of sat there taking it all in. The movie sucked so luckily we all talked through most of it, and watched their new kitten play with everything that she could find. And maybe it would have been just as awkward without the roommates there, but who knows. In the end we ended up sitting next to each other on the couch, not really cuddling but still up against one another. (Friends 2, Dating 2) I wasn’t going to be the one to make the first move, so I just sat there. And it felt really odd to sit next to him without touching him. Usually we would be all cuddled up with our legs intertwined and him holding my hand in his… not next to each other touching just barely. We both moved slowly closer toward each other as the night went on (Dating 3, Friends 2), and by the end my legs we sort of over his, but just barely (Friends 3, Dating 3). Still afraid to make a move. I could see him turning to look at me though out the movie (Dating 4, Friends 3), and every once in a while I’d look back at him… but was afraid to rock the boat. Didn’t want to come off to sexual in case he really does want to be friends, but on the other hand I think I may have given him the wrong vibe of me just wanting to be friendly. After the movie I was hoping we would go back to his room to just be us… nothing was going to happen sexually because among all our other problems I’m very allergic to cats and with a runny nose and sneezing I wasn’t putting off the please jump my bones vibe… so all through the evening we felt like strangers on a first date. Trying to feel each other out, double guessing what the other was thinking and all around not acting like “us” at all. Which is weird, because despite all the weirdness, despite his freak out, and pressures that I put on him we were always really good with the us part. We kind of just fit… and sitting there on the couch I couldn’t really put a finger on it, but it felt like we all of a sudden just didn’t. And so I sat there…
After the movie P ended up making a midnight snack (Chili Mac and Cheese Fries) and I sat on the kitchen counter and kept him company for the hour it took him to make it. When we finally were a bit away from his roommates we sort of went back to our normal selves… but the roommates were always right in the room with us, adding comments into our conversation. And although we were a bit back to normal it still felt off. It’s not that I’m not use to him put putting around in the kitchen. In fact it was always one of my favorite times with him. But this time instead of the touching and flirting we mostly stayed in our own corners… and as soon as he finished cooking I decided I need to end the awkwardness and head home (that and the allergy attack was getting worse)… as I made my goodbyes he leaned in and gave me a HUG (Friends 4, Dating 3)… it felt weird enough saying goodbye at the end of the evening instead of just crawling into bed with each other, but a HUG?! Though when I tried to end it he actually just held me tighter (Dating 4, Friends 4). And there we stood. With our arms around each other. My face buried in his neck for what felt like a lifetime. And then he let go and I was on my way… even more confused than ever. From where I’m sitting it’s a tie. Still no idea what’s going on…. But finally ok with just letting it ride. So maybe we will be friends. Maybe we will go back to dating… All that I do know is that it felt damn good to be back in his arms.
After spending the afternoon yelling at the Lakers Game with my boys down at Big Wangs I went over to Mr. Piranha’s place for a movie night with his roommates (Dating 1, Friends 0- wanted me to meet the friends)… and it felt…awkward (Dating 2, Friends 0, felt like first date). We both didn’t know what to do with each other. I was nervous going over because I haven’t seen him since we got back from Havasu a week and a half ago and didn’t know what to expect. And instead of a night with just the two of us feeling things out, we spent them in the constant company of his 2 roommates (Friends 1, Dating 2- he didn’t seem to want to be alone with me!). Mind you I didn’t mind hanging out with his roommates, but on the other hand neither of us knew how to act and they didn’t seem to help things. And seeing as he was impossible to read I just kind of sat there taking it all in. The movie sucked so luckily we all talked through most of it, and watched their new kitten play with everything that she could find. And maybe it would have been just as awkward without the roommates there, but who knows. In the end we ended up sitting next to each other on the couch, not really cuddling but still up against one another. (Friends 2, Dating 2) I wasn’t going to be the one to make the first move, so I just sat there. And it felt really odd to sit next to him without touching him. Usually we would be all cuddled up with our legs intertwined and him holding my hand in his… not next to each other touching just barely. We both moved slowly closer toward each other as the night went on (Dating 3, Friends 2), and by the end my legs we sort of over his, but just barely (Friends 3, Dating 3). Still afraid to make a move. I could see him turning to look at me though out the movie (Dating 4, Friends 3), and every once in a while I’d look back at him… but was afraid to rock the boat. Didn’t want to come off to sexual in case he really does want to be friends, but on the other hand I think I may have given him the wrong vibe of me just wanting to be friendly. After the movie I was hoping we would go back to his room to just be us… nothing was going to happen sexually because among all our other problems I’m very allergic to cats and with a runny nose and sneezing I wasn’t putting off the please jump my bones vibe… so all through the evening we felt like strangers on a first date. Trying to feel each other out, double guessing what the other was thinking and all around not acting like “us” at all. Which is weird, because despite all the weirdness, despite his freak out, and pressures that I put on him we were always really good with the us part. We kind of just fit… and sitting there on the couch I couldn’t really put a finger on it, but it felt like we all of a sudden just didn’t. And so I sat there…
After the movie P ended up making a midnight snack (Chili Mac and Cheese Fries) and I sat on the kitchen counter and kept him company for the hour it took him to make it. When we finally were a bit away from his roommates we sort of went back to our normal selves… but the roommates were always right in the room with us, adding comments into our conversation. And although we were a bit back to normal it still felt off. It’s not that I’m not use to him put putting around in the kitchen. In fact it was always one of my favorite times with him. But this time instead of the touching and flirting we mostly stayed in our own corners… and as soon as he finished cooking I decided I need to end the awkwardness and head home (that and the allergy attack was getting worse)… as I made my goodbyes he leaned in and gave me a HUG (Friends 4, Dating 3)… it felt weird enough saying goodbye at the end of the evening instead of just crawling into bed with each other, but a HUG?! Though when I tried to end it he actually just held me tighter (Dating 4, Friends 4). And there we stood. With our arms around each other. My face buried in his neck for what felt like a lifetime. And then he let go and I was on my way… even more confused than ever. From where I’m sitting it’s a tie. Still no idea what’s going on…. But finally ok with just letting it ride. So maybe we will be friends. Maybe we will go back to dating… All that I do know is that it felt damn good to be back in his arms.
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